Video the First, New School

A large, red hand swivels the screen, rotating it to point at a plush, black couch. A huge yellow eye descends into view just for a moment before the red ‘amazon’ flops onto the couch. She’s thrown a robe over her gym class uniform, a sports bra and tight shorts. Both are colored silver but have a few sleek lines of burgundy along the sides.

“Okay, so I probably should have done one of these when I got here, but a lot of shit was going on. New school and all. I got an offer to go to a big private ivy league college, and frankly it fuckin’ beats Uni of Nevada.”

She suddenly looks a little concerned.

“Not that there’s anything WRONG with the U of N, it’s just…shit, I had to take the chance. When I got there I found out I got a full scholarship too. I’m trying not to look the gift horse in the mouth, but after everything that happened this week, it’s hard.”

She pauses, smoothing her hair back and taking a drink, draining about half of a bottle of water.

“Yeah, speaking of that. Dorm mates are pretty cool, but I’m not hitting it off very well. I mean, I’m new to a lot of stuff they teach here and I’m kind’ve on a different learning track than the rest of my dorm…”

She flexes a muscle, smirking.

“But some of them seem to equate it to stupid. There’s also a few who are like, I guess you’d call it exchange students and they’re not used to a lot of the shit I take for granted. Socially, anyway. It’s pretty clear now that I’m gonna have to watch what I say and uh, nobody who really knows me would put money on that one.”

She leans forward. Whatever class she’s recovering from, the fatigue is finally wearing off.

“So yeah, during class today I found out the place has a cheerleading squad. I guess that’s a no-brainer even for a weird-ass school like this one but I didn’t want to take anything for granted. So yeah, I’m gonna try out. I liked being the only punk on the squad in high school, and with all the fuckin’ physed classes I have I may as well add another. "

She seems suddenly excited about something. She holds up a single finger to the camera, then dashes off. A moment later she comes back with a sheaf of papers in her hand.

“I forgot, I wanted to bitch. I figured after the ‘accident’ I’d let them take care of my classes for a few semesters, and fuck was that ever a bad idea. Listen to some of this. "

the word ‘accident’ received the proper air quotes. She pulls the list in front of her imperiously, and starts reading.

“Okay so, Advanced Placement Art. I share this with the exchange student I was talking about. Great, except I don’t understand why I got jumped so far along the track, none of my credits from U of N transferred. It’s because of my talent for illusion says some of the classmates, so whatever. "

She shuffles the papers, coughing.

“Japanese History. Um. Suuuure. I…need to know a shitload about Japan. I’m only half Japanese, did I seriously get racist’d into a class? Then, Meditation and Willpower. I seriously got put into a meditation class. A CLASS to do something I could explain in ten minutes. Fuck, I wonder how much the teacher gets paid. "

Another flip of the pages, this time with an angry flourish.

“You guys paying attention? Cos that was the last of my actual classes. The rest are physed. Four physed classes. FOUR. I have three days here where I don’t even leave the gym. Advanced Weight and Strength training. Sure, whatever. I’m just glad I’m not the biggest one in the class, I’d feel fuckin’ dumb. I have one here called Blood-borne placement class. I read the synopsis and the fantasy of the class is that everyone with ‘significant supernatural blood’ takes it first semester to ‘determine accurate placement, study important safety techniques, and test limits of blood-granted power’ but the reality is that the coach spends all day pissing me off. So yeah, goes real fuckin’ well with the meditation class.”

She throws half the papers on the ground, clearly looking for the final class descriptions.

“Oh, yeah. Karate with Doctor Cage. First off, best name ever. Second, I really didn’t expect a whole class of getting my ass kicked. ME, getting my ass kicked. The last one is Kendo. So far all I know is that some of us get protective equipment and then we all apparently beat me with bamboo sword things. "

She sighs and tosses the rest of the papers at the camera. It goes halfway.

“So yeah, this week I learned I’m a jock. Soon I’m gonna start to get urges to stuff nerds in lockers. I mean don’t get me wrong, this place is great, but this is the last year I let them decide my classes. I’m out for now, I’ll probably update soon. Later this week for sure. T T F N guys.”

The video ends with the impressively tall woman waving, then reaching forward to turn the camera off.

Video the First, New School

Mana of Mayhem Mousetrap